Mr. Suave's confused dad and the StarTrek phone

I was at the Podium, passing the time before fetching my wife. I visited Globe's The Hub to check out their demo handsets and any new mobile services.

They had two tables with four handsets on them, like cocktail tables serving up drinks. Three of the handsets were being tried out by customers. So I approached the last handset and took it in my hand. It was a blue and silver nokia that looked like the scaly character in startrek with ridges on his forehead.

I held the StarTrek phone in my hand. The young man in shades trying out the other handset gave me a suspicious look, even a "What do you think you're doing?" look. I stared back at him with the "D'ya have a problem, dude?" look. He relented and returned his eyes to his demo handset.

So here I was, sharing a cocktail table with Mr. Dagger-look, test-driving a StarTrek phone. I was surprised to see the handset had an unread SMS message. I thought "Which moron would send an SMS to a demo handset?" But dismissed the message, maybe it was a file received via IR or bluetooth.

Just then, a man walked up to my side. Here was a middle-aged guy who looked like Mr. Suave's not-so-groovy dad. He had a moustache like a Spanish conquistador and long wavy hair like Michael Landon of Little House in the Prairie. He wore a purple polo, with white pants and white shoes topped with gold rings and a necklace. He looked like a reincarnation of Barney, Don Johnson of Miami Vice, Mr. T of the A team and siyempre, Mr. Suave.

Yipes, not a pleasant image to recall! What's worse, his face was right next to mine, he was giving me a dagger-look and I almost felt steam coming out of his nostrils like the Chicago Bulls' mascot!

I cradled the StarTrek phone in my hand, and stared once again with the "D'ya have a problem, Manong Suave?" look. He stared, I stared back, his nose flared, my nose flared back! We were having a sword fight with our eyes!

Then Manong Suave broke the silence. In a gruff voice, he said "Phone ko yan..."

I looked down at the phone in my hand, connected to a service charger on the cocktail table. "Oh..." I managed. I put down HIS phone then began my retreat.

"O, phone mo! Saksak mo sa barado mong ilong!" Ooops, did I just think that or did I say it?

-Edwin
Podium, May 25